Addiction is defined as the fact or condition of being obsessed to a particular substance, thing, or activity. I have the opportunity to do great things and become a part of a team. A team that could probably conquer any obstacle or minimize the effects because of the special cohesion and explosive chemistry that exists. I had been 1/2 of an incredible team that had the same potential over 10 years ago and one big thing destroyed it….a growing obsession. Luckily I withdrew from this relationship before I acted on this growing need which still controls me.
I often wondered how someone could let an addiction destroy a career, a family, and an entire life when the priorities were already established and known by all those around him or her. And then I realized that the answer was simple. It was right in front of me. The rush and good feeling was too much to refuse even though the crash down from that high might be too much to handle. Every addict wants to blast off into another world where any pain in numbed by the overpowering of good feeling receptors. The addition of a foreign substance is needed to get them back or even further than the last journey. It doesn’t matter if the foreign substance is drugs, a casino, sex, credit cards, or a member of the opposite sex.
Yes my addiction is women. I once thought it was sex but it spanned too much area and was far too powerful to just be physical contact. I realized that the Sexaholics Anonymous Groups did not even begin to cure my craving which was good as I got tired of being anonymous for the wrong reason. Funny how a shy guy who is somewhat disciplined can let the extreme fancy for the sensual cause him to lose control. I wouldn’t say I am the only man (or woman for that matter) who has this problem. There are many out there like me. The most beautiful creature on the earth is a woman. Doesn’t matter if she is black, white, brown, tan, pink, or purple. Her size can be voluptuous or slender, tall or short, and she can have a various type of demeanor. I once said that all women are beautiful but it was up to each of us to discover where in that women the beauty lies. The fact is I enjoy the interaction whether it is a quick glance, simple flirt, a short conversation, or even slightest physical contact. And thus it is my addiction.
That is why I cannot be a part of this special team that involves this special lady. My need to get high on my desire is so great that I cannot move forward. My addiction has consumed me to the point where I must corral it before I can move into anything that resembles something more than a friendly relationship. One day I will conquer it and experience that one thing which has eluded me… true love.
Signed..A man addicted to the very essence of a woman
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